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One Kill PDF File: Logline: Rookie slasher meets some stiff competition. Submitted by mrusso555 on December 6, 2007 - 9:16pm. |
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Question
How does one sharpen a machete? I had an idea for something in a film but never got around to doing it and had to compensate.
Good question
In my mind's eye, he could even sharpen a stick and sparks would fly. It's supposed to be absurd.
Violence Fetish
You can sharpen a machete just like knife ithe a whet stone or a set
of sticks (these are two porcelian like sticks placed in opposing
directions that meet at a nice V shape). I think what you'd probaly use would be a machine grinder (hence the sparks). any
metal or welding shop willhave one on hand. You couls also get
one from Home Depot if you had to.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
I like the idea of a behind
I like the idea of a behind the scenes look at a masked killer. Seeing him buy all his tools was funny. I also liked the scene with him and the coeds in the van...for some reason he doesn't kill durring the day or off his turf, that was funny. Plus "killer sale" on knives is a great pun.
I do think it takes too long to start up, though. Either we know the horror movie cliches are leading to a twist, in which case no need to string us along...or we don't, in which case we lose interest. I'd stay start with the kids making out in the woods already, no need for all the chit-chat before hand.
The structure is a bit repetitive, too...with him going into town, practicing, failing a kill, going back to town, practicing more, etc. Maybe you can mix it up a bit?
And then I didn't really get what was happening with the trees at the end. Was he cutting them down so they wouldn't get in his way? And he was willing to ignore the two kids to do that first?
And then my final comment, and this is just me...maybe it's too on the nose, but I think one of the potential victims should say "wow...that was the worst slasher I've ever seen!" Or something to that effect.
All in all, good draft. Let me know if it goes through any changes.
Thanks for your input
All in all, those are very good points that I will take into consideration as I move forward. The structure is supposed to be tedious...it shows that life as a killer isn't spontaneous or even planned. He's just going by need. It's kinda like when you're fixing something and you make several trips to the Home Depot.
The idea with the trees is that he's now fixated on taking down the trees because they keep getting in his way. Just like the trip with the coeds...he could easily kill them right there, but he's lost sight of that because of his growing rage against the trees. The same is true of the last confrontation. Sure, he could kill the couple, but he's not thinking about that. He's lost focus of his first goal. Irony and absurdity is what I'm going for.
And I might just have the last couple say something like: "Seemed like a nice guy" or something ridiculous. That's the whole idea.
I really liked it!
Well, I hear what OuchMouth said about the structure, but then again most jokes are built that way, you get a repeating pattern, with slight variances, and a punchline that makes sense. You have that here, I like it.
I laughed out loud with the two girls making out while hiding behind the tree, I also laughed out loud with the "practice" chops as he took aim. Those moments were worth the ticket price for me :)
I say this is a great script man!!!
It was funny, maybe not scary, but well within the genre, and if it wins I'll be glad. GOOD WORK!
Seems like Brendan wrote this ;)
Need to get it in the proper format.
Tough to pull off for $250 bucks.
Could be funny. Some of the dialog does not work for me.
JOHN MEREDITH
WWW.MEREDITHFILMS.COM
-
Seems like Brendan wrote this ;)
Pfth... You've said that before about other horror scripts.
.
.
I don't mean to rain on the
I don't mean to rain on the parade of this script, but the weapons might be a problem for some people. I know that machetes are illegal to own and sell in Massachusetts and could be the same in other states.
Slammin' the rookie, huh?
John, thanks for the specifics. There's no such thing as a prop weapon? If I can't get a machete, I'll use a seven iron. I could make this for $100.
Your script is not the work of a rookie
Believe me, I've read rookie scripts. Yours is good man, I stand by it. Its not easy to get me to laugh with written word, you achieved this, and the entire idea of a serial killer bungling his way to perfection... well, to be honest, thats what -I- was going to write. And I have proof, see this:
http://www.karmacritic.com/node/2270
Now I'll have to come up with another idea, because I dont even want to try to compete with this one. You did a good work man :)
Awww, c'mon. The whole
Awww, c'mon. The whole point of the contest is to see different people tackling the same idea. Go froward with yours Marco, I've been looking forward to it!
I just recently went looking
I just recently went looking for a machete over the summer for a prop in something else and couldn't find any descent looking fake ones. I had to drive for over an hour to Maine to get a real one because of all the weird laws in my state and was unsure if I was even going to get it. I still have it though, it is getting a bit rusty however.
Get them cheap. Mine was $8.99. Make sure that thing is blunt too if you're going to be sticking it in anyone's face.
Droppin' Plates
Well, your problem with a fake or blunt machete is that you can't
get them to cut deep enough into wood to make it look good.
Machetes are made for cutting brush, small plants things like that (oh
yeah, and co-eds). You've got to be pretty tough to get one into
a tree to start with. Most of the time they'll bounce out unless
you're cutting at an angle. If you need knives or machetes or
anything else blade-related, www.budk.com has the cheapest stuff
around. And if you can't get this stuff sent to you, you could
get some nearby family to get it for you. Or hell, ask me, I can
go to the damned warehouse for you.
You
could also just find a good-sized piece of metal and go to a machine
shop and have them cut it down and sharpen it to your specs.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
Always good to be safe. I
Always good to be safe. I didn't remember the tree.
Or the Madman can go looking for ingredients
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Fake-Blood
JOHN MEREDITH
WWW.MEREDITHFILMS.COM
What? No ketchup?
What? No ketchup?
"Ketchup"
is copyrighted, I think, it would have to be catsup or is it the other way around?
Maybe we should make the blood blue, just in case,
j/k LOL!
JOHN MEREDITH
WWW.MEREDITHFILMS.COM
Down With The Sickness
Dick Smith's blood formula:
One pint of clear Karo syrup to
one ounce of red food color. One or two teaspoons of yellow food
color, "depending on the colors you get."
Clive
Barker likes to add about two tablespoons of instant coffee mixed with
a little water to make it opaque. I do this and the blood
photographs much darker and looks better on floors and skin.
although, if you wanted the "paint" on the trees to match the look of
blood, then you may want to go lighter and leave off the coffee.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
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