Cutting Loose

This is the first draft and the responsible part of my brain tried to keep it as low-budget and easy to film as possible... Until I started writing the third act and my imagination began to run a little wild. I'm sure it seems like it might be a logistical nightmare (especially if the budget is $250), but I think it could be done. Enjoy.

Hey!  So I really dug this film.  Nicely structured....fun tone....trully funny moments.  (I laughed out loud everytime a character said fuck or some variation thereof.  Don't add more!  It would dillute the impact of the ones you have, which are perfectly placed)

It would be a bit of a logistic nightmare....I don't think the budget would neccesarily go over $250, but I'd wonder if amatuer/indie filmmakers could pull it off in only 2 months while juggling everything else.  But I guess that's all part of the contest too.

Hmmm, so my only input would be to maybe add a little bit of intrigue into the deaths.  For instance, when he reads that Zoe's going to bite it by head trauma, my interest was instantly piqued..."ooh, how's THAT going to happen!?"  And then I thought if you could somehow get that effect with the rest, it would add a nice other level to the script.  Make them fun, interesting deaths.  

Yeah, well, good job!  Glad you entered. 

Oh, I also wanted to add that I really liked how you handled the dad's backstory.  What with him falling for a mortal woman, and she obviously bit it, etc.  It added some nice depth to the happeneings, but you didn't hit us over the head with exposition...snuck it in there quite nicely.

Very well done.

"The greatest journeys are the ones that bring you home."--The Namesake

 
You know, it didnt only have Horror and Comedy, it also had Action and Drama... this is a marvel of miniaturization, you also had a three-act structure too, and even found room for the iteration that makes "Practice Makes Perfect". I'm really impressed by how well you managed your space here... specially since writing my own entry yesterday and realizing I only had room for three fat scenes and one act. You're a pro man.

That said, I dont really have any nitpicks, the script works well as it is, I'm just thinking that if it wins I'll have to do animation too, because I dont even know how to begin to film inside a real hospital, etc! But like OM said, its all part of the contest!

Best of luck, I laughed with the iteration part before Zoe, it was awesome! 

How will the winner of the contest be determined? Will there be a poll after the deadline is over?

If we depended on the star ratings then this one would be in the lead but with only 4 votes while the rest have 7-8.

I'm not going to cast a vote here, because it is a competition, but I'm disapointed.

I loved the concept, great, the grim reapers son falls in love with a mortal.

I have a lot of things I disagree with, but that is useless to discuss. As far as the contest, Hospitals aren't cheap, although Brendan's location for Zombies might do, and I did once use an underground connecting tunnel for the subways as a hospital hallway. 

I just didn't see it, more love story than anything else. I didn't see any horror, unless it was the horror of what our hero was going through.

It was interesting, and felt more like a coming of age film. The tax connection at the end was funny.

Ben Grimm (not sure spelling) is also the name of marvel Comics "Ever Loving Blue Eyed Thing." 

Steven Gladstone

Director/Cinematographer

http://www.gladstonefilms.com

Obviously we can't please everyone... You're welcome to give it whatever star rating you feel it deserves.

Good stuff, I checked out your other films and I think that your style fits this script. Good Luck