NymphoNinja98

Was worth reading and felt like I watched a feature length movie.

 
Oooh, Rudolf would be SOOO JEALOUS of Michael! Some Zombies just have it made, you know??

In many ways, this is the polar opposite of Rudolf. I really liked it, its so funny, its so well timed! Once I climbed over the hurdle of the father of two kids dying (he was a cheating S.O.B. after all), everything was guilt-free fun. I LOVED Michael's basement pad. 

I'm just curious though.. what exactly is what the men "forget" after being operated on by Adrianne? That they got a ninja star thrown at their foreheads? Dont the bandages make them curious later? But bah, I'm known for over-thinking it, this script works, good story, good jokes, good creepiness factor, very solid work Cici!!

You're good! 

How fun!! Funny too! Love it!  Great story... Adrianne would be a blast to play.

Really creative... I love the creep factor and the twisted seduction... I'm already imagining myself taking care of my zombie lover (afterall how different is that from a man.... ).

Excellent work... I can't wait to see more of your writing!

xoxoxoxo!

Davonie, Marco, and Dawn!

It's so cool that you guys took the time to read this.  Thank you for all your kind words.

Dawn, I'm honored to think you'd be willing to play Adrianne.  If I were directing you, I'd make sure most of the scenes had some Dawn nudity in them.  :-)

Please let something for others...

nice script very cleaver

good work Cici

funny stuff, lot of rythm

great comedy-horror script

:) 

Woody Allen once said: "The difference between entertainment for children and entertainment for adults can be summed up in two words: sex and violence." And "NymphoNinja98" has got it all!

I'm glad you put me in mind of Dawn as the lead character. I could see and hear her doing and saying everything as I read! I laughed, I winced, I got turned on... I could believe her as a woman who is smarter than any man she- er- comes across.

The only thing I wondered about was her relationship with Michael. She'll do anything to keep her zombie lover in the cage downstairs alive... but why? He doesn't seem to offer her much in return. (Especially not in conversation!) 

Perhaps... umm, trying to think up something with my slow and gurgling male brain here... perhaps he's not simply her lover, but her brother, or her father, or her child? Someone she simply must take care of (which is nice, because it means she does these awful things to men for a good reason). Or perhaps he's holding her to ransom somehow. I dunno.

In any case, this was a joy to read, and made me laugh out loud. I'd love to see it, and it's very very you. Well done, you talented sick fuck!

Gee, Dawn, I'm so flattered that you think of me this way...

"MICHAEL GRUNTS. He makes indecipherable sounds while gesturing wildly.

MICHAEL shakes his head violently, MOANS and spits.

MICHAEL twitches, grunts and drools. He jumps up and down and smacks his forehead.

MICHAEL bangs a hand against one of the bars, tilts his head back and gurgles.

MICHAEL sticks his tongue out, grabs his crotch and grunts while making large pelvic thrusts."

...Guess I could simply play myself, huh? No acting required... 

I wouldn't change a thing!

Victor, I'm flattered by your wonderful compliments.  You are always so kind to me.  Thank you.

I started a comment and got distracted by television, phone calls, and of course, grunting conversations with my husband, and by the time I actually got around to posting my comment, there were four other I'd missed!

Ah, thank you, cici. Michael = Jimmy. That explains it.

If I were to play the role, is this the set design you're thinking of? (Dawn, note the leatherclad zombie swizzlestick.)

A writer/actor/set designer.  You're hired!

Glad you like my bedroom, cp! Meanwhile, cici, since I'm playing at designer, here's a costume suggestion for Dawn...

 I like the "relationship" with Michael and the Ninja star throwing girl. I don't have a problem at all with why she stays with him. Love is strange, and perhaps he became a zombie after they were together, perhaps she fell in love with a zombie - what a deal have a man at your complete and utter command, although as it turns out she kind of becomes his slave, in terms of what she has to do to keep him.

"Male Order Zombie Groom" perhaps or "Zombie Date." Could open up a whole new market.

The negatives/problems with the script really seem to come from it being rushed. I think it needs a couple of more passes - and what script doesn't?  Gone With The Wind had seven credited screenwriters.

It feels like two different films, and where it transitions from one film to another has to be smoothed over.

There is a lot of potential here, some really nice stuff. I think you need to take a week off, and then go do another pass on it.

I would vote for doing it as is, but it is too complex for what I have time for right now. With Rewrites I think it would be even better. 

Steven Gladstone

Director/Cinematographer

http://www.gladstonefilms.com

Yeah, this needs lots of rewrites.  I rushed it out to try to get it in under the deadline and I barely made it.  I'm glad you liked the premise, though!

If cloths start coming off, please let me know! ;)

Good job, Cici.

I was laughing the whole time.

Just the mention of gray matter gives me the willies. Love the pepper bit. Steak tartar, yum.

I'm so glad you made the deadline.

Donna May

You have such an awesome sense of humor, I feel honored to have made you laugh!

Thank you so much!!  I hope to see Bikini Vampires Save the World out there on the big screen!  That's some good wholesome entertainment!

Cici writes:

"...this needs lots of rewrites. I rushed it out to try to get it in under the deadline and I barely made it. "

I see an instinctive story telling ability, great attention to
detail, and intelligent writing in this script. If this is an example
of a "rush job," I say it's time to move on from the Final Draft Demo
to the real thing!

"The greatest journeys are the ones that bring you home."--The Namesake

Some very funny lines and bits....a zombie playing Resident Evil is priceless!!

Dang!  I just wrote a great little review and hit some button on my computer and lost it all!  All to accomodate one little hyphen...

Anyway, it went something like this: loved it.  Totally funny.  It was a smooth read, very well written, and entertaining.  I totally get the relationship- I think that aspect of it is perfect.

Note my avatar, btw.  'Course, that's Kung Fu, I'm not a nympho, and I never advanced to splitting heads, but I did have my friends throw watermelons at me at my birthday party.  I split them in mid-air and we ate them afterwards. It was still pretty gory...

Anyway, great job!

Oh My God, that sounds like so much fun!  Watermelon whacking!  Can I come to your next birthday party??

Thank you for taking the time to give me wonderfully kind review.... twice.  You are one cool chick.

It's funny as hel and disgusting (that's a compliment coming from
me), and still it took me six tries to get through it.  I can't
say exactly why, but this one bit me all wrong.  I know one small
part is I didn't get why Mike was big deal to her.  The husband
and wife thing, sure, but she's banging other guy three and four at a
time.  That just didn't work for me.  The other thing, and
you simply must forgive me for saying it, I didn't like the lead all
that much.  I mean, all her jokes were funny, and I laughed out
loud at the "A little on your face " line, but I just couldn't get
behind her, you know? Maybe she threatens my masculinity.  Anyway,
best of luck, dollface.

If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.

IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.