Ahhh, 1986. What a year. My friends had discovered the
merits of Family Sized bottles of Robitussin (ROBO), and huffing butane
(I came late those parties), and I discovered The Thunder From Down
Under: AC/DC. And once again, the whole world shifted for me.
Here's
the deal; the Earth passes into the "extraordinarily diffuse" tail of
an oddly named comet and all the machines on the planet go fucking
balls out. Truck, steamroller, and soda machine mayhem ensue.
In
the cannon of Stephen King adaptations, this is one of the more
reviled, and brother that's saying something. You want know how
hated it is? Shall I tell you. Well, folks, the director
himself has been quoted in a number of media outlets referring to this
movie as a "dog." Who directed it, you might ask? Stephen
King did. You read that right. This one was written and
directed by tha man himself. And he hates it. If you just stop right there, that makes this movie a nice little curiosity. But let's proceed.
The movie is based on one of King's stories from Night Shift,
a collection of really great shorts. The funny thing here is that
the short story is one of the weaker ones in the book, so how it became
such a cool movie is beyond me. Now, be warned, King has called
this a "moron movie," and he hit the nail on the head. This
fucker is packed with idiots all doing truly stupid things, but I have
to say, that's part of what makes it truly great. Yes, I said
great. Check out the scene at the Little League game. How
about when they go to rescue the Bible salesman? Or the kid riding
through the the suburbs. All fucking incredible scenes, but
still, not what makes this movie truly great. What makes
this movie truly great:
AC/DC.
That's right, the greatest rock band the world has ever seen. Doubt me? Back In Black
was relesed twenty-eight years ago and it's already sold more than
100,000 copies this year. The lads were hired by King to do the
music for the movie and turned out "Who Made Who," the title track from
the album of the same name that serves as the film's soundtrack.
And they fit fucking perfectly with his movie. The first
time I heard "Hell's Bells," was while watching this flick and I almost
shot a wad. It was a fucking revelation. I came to Jesus that day (well, Angus for sure). I've been a freak ever since.
I
should also state, in the interest of full disclosure, the best sex
I've ever had with the hottest chick I've ever done it with happened
while watching this movie. So it's entirely possible that this
flick has some anti-erectile dysfunction properties as well. If
my dick ever stops working, I've got two copies as a back-up.
Get it and love it.
Save Yourselves,
'Nuff Sugar
2 things that make a movie great.
An out of control, demented steam roller and little leaguers. Those that have not seen need only imagine, and that's enough to give me wood.
Sugar, I'm seriously considering bowing out of the radio KarmaCritiques in lieu of how well you're being recieved. Everyone loves you on air, and I don't think anyone's even reading what I write, never mind listening to me on the show.
Is that something you'd want to do weekly, or do you like the every other week thing?
"Baffling the critics since 1971."
D.T.
The fuck're you talking about? Your reviews are great.
I suggest that people lick their mother's dilo clean. That's not
a review, that's psychotic. You leave and we got no class,
man. The fuck are you thinking?
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
*
Your reviews are tops on this site. The critiques, especially on-air, should be your forum. As much as I enjoy doing them, your reviews are better recieved. The listeners may prefer it.
"Baffling the critics since 1971."
Shake Your Foundations
You've gotten to exactly one review on the air. One. I
checked. They totally fucked with your game on the last one you
did, so, no, that one doesn't count. And I thoght you did a great
job, so there had better be a good fucking reason that your trying to
crawfish right now. And crawfish it is. You and I committed
to Marco to split the duties at hand, so if you back out, you're
fucking with him. And I know he ain't done shit to you.
Neither have I for that matter. Dude, I'm the worst part of the
show! I'm all nervous and shit, disorganized. So far, in my
life, I've been on the radio four times if you count winning a
breakfast at the Holiday Inn 'cause I recognized Ian Moore's "Muddy
Jesus" on the local rock station(and that was fifteen fucking years ago).
You write better reviews than me, you deliver better reviews than me,
and what's more, you fucking know it. So what's going on here for
real, man to man. What, did your favorite Chinese masseuse move
your weekly ball scrubbing to Sundays at 7? Is your girl offering
to swallow only during that hour on that day? Hell, either
of those is better than anything you've tossed out yet. What's
up, man, talk to me.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
I'm tipping my hat to you.
you da man.
"Baffling the critics since 1971."
Sink The Pink
I don't even know what that fucking means. What'd you cut-and-paste that from an aintitcool talkback?
The
fuck's your deal, man? Shall we buy you a little pink poodle
skirt with Goofy on it and make you wear it every day so's no one
mistakes you for a man? Think you could come up with a coherent
answer, or are your fucking attentions too strained between airings of Gossip Girl and My Super Sweet Sixteen?
Set your motherfucker to receive; this is cowardice, plain and
simple. Marco went with the plan 'cause it was a good one,
balanced. You've got the skills and experience. I've got
the idiocy. I hold up my end, and you want to close out
'cause what? You had a bad Tuesday? When the fuck did that
become my problem?
So I'll lay it out for you in simple fucking
words so's you won't even have to put down your Fresca to understand
it; you walk, I walk. I won't write 'em, post 'em, or go on the
fucking radio with 'em. I'm not that guy, and I sure as as mother fucks won't let you make
me into him. I won't be manipulated into shit just 'cause you
grew a fucking conscience about rubbing one out to Grannies Gone Wild.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
Who Made Who 1986 Tour-Last Time I saw them Live
After seeing Back In Black, For Those About Rock, then WMW! The good old days ;)
Saw these three Live tours come through the Bay Area in the 80's.
Chase The Ace
Yu lucky motherfucker. This is the only band I would I would
kill to see live, as I have never done so. My druthers? The
'80 tour on Back In Black.
Ever seen Let There Be Rock, the concert film? The live Paris show that was in the movie was a 2 disc set in the Bofire box. In my opinion, the best live footage of their career.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
Yes...
I had a copy of LTBR on VHS.
I remeber listening to the radio when the local station KOME 98.5 announced Bon Scott died...then the played Highway to Hell right after...just like it was 5 minutes ago.
If AC/DC ever tours again, I will go see them for sure.
Angus has this "guitar monolog" he does at every show where he goes crazy for about 15 minutes on guitar, then he moons the audience. Did that every show.
For Those About To Rock: Two huge cannons outlined in green neon lights fire louder than the music. That was the finale of the show. FIRE, FIRE, BOOM, BOOM, FIRE, music ends BOOM! Lights come on...Ac/Dc is gone.
Hells Bells: A giant 1.5 story tall bell rises from the smoke in the middle of the stage.
Somethings you never forget.
Another good one was Ozzy's Bark At The Moon Tour: Ozzy had a the interior entrance of full scale haunted castle as his stage.
This was the summer concert tour after I graduated high school.
You Shook Me All Night Long
Awww, man I was so Johnny-come-lately to Ozzy. I bought Blizzad of Ozz after No More Tears, that's how much. So you got to see Randy live? You motherfucker.
Buddy
of mine's older brother was at the Fly on the Wall tour and said the
show was lod.....then they brought out the cannons. Said his ears
rang for two fucking weeks! I'll kill a motherfucker to see these
guys. How about we try and catch 'em in Sydney? That's when
I can die happy. Well, almost anyway.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
No...
Randy Rhodes was gone.
Lessons from the King of Stephen
I learned a lot about it, that King himself directed it and hates it (whoah!) and that AC/DC rocks the earth with the soundtrack (yeah!), and that it doubles for viagra (!) :) But all I know about the actual story, is that its about machines that go nuts because of some comet? That's it? I mean, not that I wanted spoilers or anything :)
That said, I loved the review because just like every other BigSugar review, they give this inexplicable urge to go rent the movie and watch it. BigSugar, you have something like the Midas touch but for making people watch entertainment, lets call it "The Nielsen Touch". That can be worth money to certain people if we know how to package it. Hmmm :)
For Those About To Rock, We Salute You
Frankly, sir, the less we get into plot with this movie, the
better. It's one of those flicks that has to just wash over
you. Think about it for a split second and it's just gone.
That said, your point is not lost on me. Less bullshit more
review. Should I do another one, I'll do better.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
More without Less!
That said, your point is not lost on me. Less bullshit more
review. Should I do another one, I'll do better.
Actually, the "more review" part I'll totally love, but please dont skimp on the bullshit. Bullshit is what we fans love, dont ever give us less :) You can give us more of anything, but not less on the BS man, that'd be like Jim Kramer giving money advice without raising his voice. Just unnatural.
Godspeed you black emperor!
The Video Game Says "Play Me!"
Aye, aye, O Captain, my Captain!
By the way, how about that,
huh? Ez says the site passed a couple of really cool
milestones. 300 participants this week at one time? Hell,
now we got enough to deafeat the Persians. Hollywood should be a
fucking breeze.
Although, with the carzy bastards we got running around here, it's just about One Riot, One Ranger.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
Mack Trucks Gone Wild
Riff Raff
"Baffling the critics since 1971."
Ride On
Video's busted, man. Looks a little like the one from Plug Me In, which I highly recommend.
Side note here; for the film's promotion, the lads decided to video for Who Made Who and their biggest song yet, You Shook Me All Night Long.
The latter I don't think ever aired on MTV 'cause it features girls
riding stationary bikes and a mechanical bull in leather lingere, one
of them even getting a close-up of her crotch with a zipper over her
puss-puss. The only problem with the video is that Simon Wright
is on the drums, though Phil Rudd actually played the skins back in
'80. If you can find it on youtube, it's worth a watch or ten.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
I have seen this one on TV-dont know when though
Feel It Runnin' Down Your Spine
That's the one, baby. I fucking love it!!!
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
God Dammit
I just watched the f*cking thing! It's still active on youtube. What the holy hell...?!
Here's another one.
.
"Baffling the critics since 1971."
It Owns You, Through And Through
You are now 0 for 3, white boy. And you fucked up the thread
'cause when you click on 'em, you get kicked back to some old version
of the front page, motherfucker. What ails you, son?
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
Old School
Who Made You
Are you two putting knock-ffbands on this thread? I'll delete
this cocksucker and start all over if you desecrate the Holy fucking
Name!
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
Thats AC/DC
Are you implying Brian Johnson should not sing Bon Scott?
The Satellite Send Me Pictures
Just checkin', man.
If it's just ridiculous, it's bad.
IF IT IS RRIIIDDDIICCUUULLOOUUSS, then it's okay.
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