Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Yeah, I kinda felt the same.  Spielberg has said thathe was makingthis movie for the fans, because of the fans.  And it kinda shows....there's no passion in this movie...he's just going through the motions.  It's a glorified Lost World.  I mean, it's not all bad.  Indy's here, and Indy's always awesome.  There's some genuinely funny moments, some genuinely exciting moments...but they just don't live up to their predecessors. 

One of the problems is that the trilogy as it was before was near perfect.  You've got Raider's which sets up Indy and some of his pals and the world of the 30's.  Then you've got Temple which deviates and pits Indy in a whole new situation, an entirely different tone, etc.  Then Crusade which acts as a great ending.  It gives us the Indy origin story, we return to the characters from the first film, the villains (Nazi's) from the first film...and introduce the father which gives Indy his greatest arc of any of the movies.  And finally they ride into the sunset.  Crystal Skull just feels like yet another adventure tacked onto the end of it.  Sure there's the whole Marion story and how that resolves, but it does feel forced and tacked on.  

I just wish they could've maybe connected all the other stories some way.  There was only one direct reference to any of the previous films that I noticed (not counting Indy constants like fear of snakes).

And then some of those stunts were just a bit over the top....even for Indiana Jones.  If you have to use CG to do it...then it's probably to over the top.  *cough*refridgerator*coughtree into river*cough*  

But I'm just dwelling on the negatives.  I think I'm going again tonight with my wife since she missed the midnight screening.  I'm sure it'll play better after a couple viewings and the over-anticipation fades away and I can see it more for what it is, than what I wanted it to be.  

Oh, but one more problem!  So, Cate Blanchett's character...you know, you can tell there's a great character there somewhere, they hint at her powers and motives, etc.  Yet, they really don't use her at all.  We see that she has some cool psychic powers at the begining, and then she never uses them again!  There's no reason for her to be psychic at all!  What a waste....

Okay, just some random thoughts.  I do hope a fifth one can manage to return to the spirit of the originals. 

 I liked it. I do agree that the film was not as good as the originals. But it was a fun film. I didn't really drool over the sci-fi aspect of it, but I felt that it was a new Indiana Jones adventure that didn't repeat itself.

I guess I'm bias. It was Indiana fucking jones! Yeah!

The concept in story was different and cool. I agree that the writing could have been more carefully taken care of. Harrison was cool. Spielberg was cool. That transformers kids was cool. 

I don't know. I will say this. It was a fun film. An Indie adventure. Was it classic? No. Was it great to see Indie in action again? FUCK YEAH! And to me, that's all that mattered. INDIANA JONES!

I'm not a harsh critic unless something really really blows kaka like "Monster In Law".

I know everyone expected this to be the best Indiana Jones. And it wasn't. But it was a cool adventure. That's all I really expected from it. Nothing will ever be better than Raiders of the Lost Ark, so why dare compare it? In my opinion, there is no movie ever made better than Raiders of the Lost Ark to begin with. That's my favorite film of all time! And besides John Rambo, Indiana Jones is my favorite cinematic charater.

In saying that, let me crawl back a little. I don't understand, why after 19 years, this is the best George Lucas could come up with? Lucas is such a creative genius, then he falls apart because of his stubborness to do things his way---I believe that a younger blood could have spun this into something better--because my own opinion is--the movie did feel like a bunch of old men got together to make an adventure film.

That's me being critical.

I give the film a solid B.

I like Rambo better. In fact, I'm gonna go buy it!

EZEQUIEL

Admittedly, I came into this with the lowest of expectations. Based on the recent works of both Lucas (*spits in disgust*) and Speilberg (*spits in a little bit less disgust*), I wouldn't have been surprised if they totally f*cked up the fourth (and hopefully last) installment of the Indiana Jones franchise. As it turns out, this low expectation saved the film in the eyes of this reviewer, because if you expect dog sh*t, but are served prune juice, you can't help but be thankful you didn't receive dog sh*t.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull takes place in 1957, because Harrison Ford looks ancient. A new era (Cold War) requires a new threat, so pinch-hitting for the Nazis are the Russians, led by Colonel Doctor Irina Spalko. Spalko is brilliantly portrayed by Cate Blanchett, easily the film's best performance. But she is limited by David Koepp's lackluster script (a flaw born from Lucas and Spielberg meddling, I'm sure).

The supporting cast includes Ray Winstone, John Hurt and Jim Broadbent, but none really stand out. You'll note there's no Marcus Brody, Papa Jones nor is there even any mention of Sallah; and to say the chemistry between this new cast is lacking compared to past Indy characterizations is an understatement. Karen Allen has little more than an extended cameo as Marion Ravenwood, and the film's biggest casting error is none other than Hollywood's latest flavor of the month, Shia LaBooof. Please note the intentional mis-spelling of the young thespian's name. I didn't like him in Disturbia, I didn't like him in Transformers, I've seen him in nothing else and therefore, he's not important enough to have his name spelled correctly in a Turzman critique.

Speilberg and Lucas have the audacity to introduce LaBooof's Mutt Williams leather clad atop a motorcycle wearing a pilot's hat, and bearing an insulting resemblance to Marlon Brando from 1953's The Wild One!!!

Hold on a minute...

I don't care how popular or cute the little pretty boy LaBooof is,
HE'S NO FU*KING BRANDO!!! Nuff said.

But the film's biggest flaw, and it stands out like the giant elephant in the room, is the lack of humor. The first three Indy films succesfully combined wit and action, but Crystal Skull fails miserably in the comedy department. The jokes are, in a word, unfunny. But the action does save this film. Indy 4 is watchable for these sequences alone. As for the story, it is a refreshing break from all the biblical hocus-pocus, is feasable, and is consistent with the Mayan legends I've read in other works.

In a nutshell, go see this film. You know you want to, so get it out of your system. The action outweighs the goofiness just enough to make the film enjoyable. Expect dog sh*t so the prune juice will go down easier.

"Baffling the critics since 1971."

...Justin Long should have gotten the nod over Shia LaBooof.  He's a better actor, and has already played a sidekick to an icon in a blockbuster film.

See Die Hard 4.

LaBooof, OUT.

"Baffling the critics since 1971."

was da shit... !

I sat in da very front of a capacity crowd and saw it UP CLOSE.  Da shots and transitions of da action scenes was brilliant... da POSITIONING.  

There was even this one frame where da camera was on da ground with an angle pointing up to da car arriving on da dirt road... then it pans to Indiana Jones' face right when it appears above a fence... all in one cut.  I dunno, that kine of shot is prolly typical, but thats what I noticed and cared for.  

 All I know is that, when I watch a TRUE ARTIST... one who PERFORMS... I CARE FOR DA RHYTHM.  Its like watching Michael Jackson... regardless of da song he dancing to... or what he saying... or what he looks like... when he starts to pop and moon walk... you just ch0o0o0oo0orip!  A unique RHYTHM.

Da more and more I shoot... da more I'm starting to catch myself not caring about da story no more... but more about DA TECHNIQUES.

 Forthe first hour, I really enjoyed the return of good 'ole Dr. Jones...but then the total mishmash of converging scripts started leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  Indiana Jones can survive an atomic explosion? Armies of monkeys attacking the Russians? How, exactly, did that Blow dart kill that one guy (really think about it)?  Fucking flying saucers?

The film was filled with enough signature Indy moments to keep me entertained...but is such a lost oppurunity....and a lot of the best moments were the quieter ones: "...life stops giving and starts taking away...." 

"There Comes a Time in Every Man's Life When He Must Spit on His Hands, Hoist the Black Flag, and Start Slitting Throats."

-HL Mencken

This is an understatment. Flawed. Hugely flawed.

The word is out. 10 pm showing on the Friday of memorial day weekend, and the theater is empty.

Warning, this will contain movie spoilers, so read on if you've seen it, or come back after you've wasted you rmoney and time and see what reading this would have saved you.

Let's start where we start. Liked the opening, the little driving bit. Got the Area 51 gag, but then, oh wait. Read "Save the Cat" this film hits the "double Mumbo Jumbo" Thing square on.

I did like the whole transition to a modern age thing, the breaking of the box and ignoring of the ark from the first film. But why (Spoiler here - be warned) are we concerned with a space alien, no sorry transdimensional alien, when our intrepid hero has spent his time chasing myths, legends, and G_d, not science fiction. Make a Zombie film, but don't make a zombie film about zombies from outer space - at some point we just go - oh enough. Right the atomic age, so now we move from archeology to the space/transdimensional age.

But okay, oh wait, indy survives a nuclear blast (ala Swarzzenager  in Predator.) Does anyone have a problem with him walking out of a refrigerator that flew what a mile in the air, and he isn't even bruised or scrapped? A fall from 15 feet can be lethal. Same issue I had with Iron man crashing into the sand in that first suit. In any one of the previous movies the fridge would have skidded accross the ground, and Jones would have passed the car with the Russians, and jones would have watched them. This film was tired - as were the movements, everything was at 3/4 speed. the action scenes were slow. Where once dialog and expression happened during the chase scene. Here all the action stopped so that the actors could deliver their lines, and then continued. Stop, deliver lines, then continue action, stop deliver lines, then continue action zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

There was no mystery, here. The whole film was a weak set of explainers and plot complications. What was the point of the F.B.I. ? To get him on a train? So that Shai could meet him (dressing him like Brando was a big mistake, one that was abandoned quickly.) After he goes on leave (which INDY always used to do) the F.B.I. doesn't trouble Indy any more. Why bother wth them at all? Wait Indy was in the military at some point? He won medals? When, where? Huh. Garbage, get rid of it.

Let's just jump to the really stupidest point. Someone 500 years ago, breaks into a chamber where 13 crystal skeletons are seated. No rotting flesh, no clothes, just the skeletons in a perfectly clean environment. The chamber it seems is part of some advanced alien technologically superior craft, so the tools of 500 years ago, probably won't help open the door, or penetrate the chamber. So this guy steals the skull, and wanders away, remembering to lock the door behind him. 500 years later the skull is returned and the door is unlocked, using the skull as a key. Oh wait. How is it that they guy got into the chamber in the first place if you have to use the skull to unlock the door, but the skulls are all inside already?????  Oh, I see the door was originally left open, and these powerful crystal skulls just let someone take one of the skulls in the first place? here, just take a skull, we have the power to stop you, because we are dead, but not really dead. We are just sitting here waiting for someone to take a skull and then return it,because we can't turn on our interdimensional ship until we are all in one piece, so first someone must take a piece so it can be returned.  Yep that makes sense.

Oh, and I love how the "natives" who are there to protect the entrance to the temple live inside of walls, and break through them to chase after our intrepid heros. Yep, they are human, but where do they sleep? Where do they eat? I don't know, but they do break through walls.

Why must indy stare into the skull? Don't get it? He doesn't become smarter, the Russian doesn't plant secret messages into his head, she seems to suggest it, but it doesn't happen. Of course in that scene ther is a circular floresent light in the scene. I don't know about you, but although floresent lights have been around in one form or another since the late 1800's, Circular floresents really didn't come into use until the 1990's. I never saw one before that any way. It totally destroyed the mood. here is all this "old" gear from the 1950's, and wait a clean modern floresent light bulb. Annoying. If you are making a point with it, make the point, do something.

Got to love the "magnetic" properties of the skull as well you know. Sometimes it is magnetic, sometimes it isn't. Pulls coins towards it, but only sometimes. Oh that makes sense. Hey why didn't it pull out one of those electronic tracking devices the "Triple Agent" was carrying. If this had been the first film, it would have. Remember the Monkey from the first film? The beauty of that film was that the audience knew what was going on, before the characters. Oh wait sorry, the filmmakers revealed what was going on to the audience, in this film it was obvious and boring, and we knew the surprises before hand. Oh except that it was transdimensional aliens, not space aliens.

Director/Cinematographer

http://www.gladstonefilms.com

It's pure Indy!! and I really didn't had a problem with the alien plot... is just that I expected more mistery arround the plot. You know, wen they open the Ark in the first film you never see God's hand coming from the sky and smashing the nazis. You see... ghosts! what are those ghosts? angels of death? damned souls? noup... they're just as Indy says some scenes before: thunder... ligthing... power of God. :)

The sankara stones actually did something more than glowing or burning in Mola Ram's hand? noup. But they're powerfull, they're a godsmack and the people of the village needed one in order to recover their happiness (physically represented on their lost children)

The grail was actually that spectacular? noup, but it turns crucial at the crisis, wen Indy's dad got shot and now you REALLY need the grail for something usefull than just taking it away from the nazis. But again, is the mistery arround the McGuffin, NOT the McGuffin itself what brings the magic to the adventure.

The Von Däniken pseudotheories about the extraterrestrial origins of some ancient civilizations really fits on the Indy scenario, but again, it was the LACK OF MISTERY what made the Crystal Skull look goofy at some points. You know what they say: wen you show the monster at the camera, it stops making public be afraid of it and starts to make them laugh wen they discover is just a prop of cardboard.  Imagination is subjective. it's power resides there. 

Also, it's the lack of challenges what makes you think "duh! that was too easy!" instead of feeling great after Indy passes several moments were his values and his beloved ones are on a great, great danger and triumphs in the end. We never see Mutt and Marion in a real, dramatic danger here.   

I'm going to see it again this weekend. What can I do? Im an Indy geek afterall, and maybe now I can enjoy it more because I know what kind of shit to expect. :D 

"Every deep being needs a mask to exist" - F. Nietzche

I said: forget your problems, forget McKee, forget you're a grownup and go with your girl to watch a fun movie.

 And indeed, Indy 4 was so more FUCKING enjoyable the second time. I forgot about the flaws, I forgot about everything and resulted the kind of experience I wanted to live since 15 years ago (I'm 27 now) wen I started to wait for a new Indy adventure. Definitly not in the Pirates of the Caribbean 3/Rambo 4 level. This is a juggernaut compared with those. 

Not so long ago I sent Marco a post I found on AICN about how cynic my generation has come, that is not nostalgia what makes us hate a movie like this, is about how much we don't want to accept our reality as adults. At the moment I accepted that, I enjoyed so much this movie that magically returned myself wen I was 10. I laughed, I gasped, I smiled just like the inner kid too, we accepted to coexist in the same space for 2 hours.

Certainly is not the best Indy movie... but is an INDY MOVIE. I really wan't to see a 5th one with a better script, maybe in the search of Atlantis under the 50's sci fi style too (hollow earth, lost civilizations with paranormal powers...) and Shia MUST BE IN. The kid is very talented and the chemistry with Ford was one of the best things in the film.

"Every deep being needs a mask to exist" - F. Nietzche

Funny, I usually am the first in line to check out these types of movies, but even before reading about how dumb the story is, I had no motivation to see it.

I will rent it on DVD though.

The ride is cool at Disneyland.

One thing Steven Gladstone asked was why must Indy stare into the skull?

I have not seen this movie yet, but the ride at Disneyland warns you not to "stare into the eyes of Mara" and when you invitably do, all hell breaks loose.

So, it will be interesting, to me at least, to see if they make a change to the "story" of the Disneyland ride.

They did the same thing with Pirates Of The Carribean ride by adding Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones.

Really, I like this one the least of the 4, but #3, the Last Crusade sucked pretty bad. Much like that one, very flawed, but still entertaining. I went to the midnight show of this one and I've never EVER been to a midnight show where I felt less emotion all the way through.

I didn't hate the movie. I liked it, but I'd say 6 out of 10.

SPOILER ALERT!

The damn Aliens thing was sad. Then again, is it really that far out from the Ark of the Convenant having super powers or the Shankara stones?

Oh well. I prefer this over THE MUMMY series or TOMB RAIDER movies. If we're going to be subjected to CGI fests with lack of character and bad acting, it might as well be the real Indiana Jones....

I'm gonna stick by my original, post screening impression of the film....

"It was nice to see Indana Jones jumping around doing Indiana Jones shit."

Other than that... dreadfull. Sure there's quite a franchise standard to live up to, but WTF was with the Alien Skull story line? Talk about "reaching" for new material. That was an act of desperation if I've ever seen one. And don't get me started on the lack of suspense and lame characters.

I heard rumor that Frank Darabont wrote an earlier script that both Spielberg and Harrison Ford liked, but Lucas vetoed. Considering the one dissenting vote, something tells me that script was probably worlds better than the crap that made it to the screen. Too bad George had any say in the creative aspects of this movie.

My advice... If you're hankerin' for an action film, spend your money wisely and go see Iron Man.

Gonzo is a way of life.

And I don't know why?

I heard people talking about Indiana on da bus a lot lately... all NEGATIVE for some reason.  

Its a Steven Spielberg and George Lucas collaboration... how often do you get to see that? 

I loved every minute of it! You know it's hard for some jaded film makers to remember that movies are an escape from reality and have their own set of rules. Too busy analyzing shots and plotlines. Try watching it through a child's eyes, remember when we used to believe anything was possible and our heros were super human? That's Indiana Jones, great movie!