Horror

Alright, here's a movie I saw at Sundance back in January that I never got around to reviewing since I started getting lazy. I just saw the trailer up on joblo so I decided what the hell, I'll talk about it anyway. Especially since most people who know what a donkey punch is are going to be wondering, what the fuck is this movie is all about and how and why is there a donkey punch involved?

I've got two fucking words for you. Monica. Belucci.

Here's
the deal; a knight and his heterosexual life-mate are sent by Louis the
what-the-fuck-ever to deal with some sort of monster who's killing
peasant broads in rural France. Jaws and Bruce Lee mayhem ensues.

No, not the old Ewan McGregor/Josh Brolin movie. This one's actually really fucking good.

Here's
the deal; the forces of Light and Dark call a truce ending a centuries
long war, but the truce is in trouble when a kid is born who, it has
been foretold, will tip the balance of power in favor of whatever side
he chooses to join. Fuckin' weird, crazy-assed shit ensues.

Well, then there's this fucking movie.

Here's the deal;
A cute teenage girl discovers her sexuality and that she's every man's
nightmare at the same time. Fucking havoc ensues.

Ahhh, 1986.  What a year.  My friends had discovered the
merits of Family Sized bottles of Robitussin (ROBO), and huffing butane
(I came late those parties), and I discovered The Thunder From Down
Under: AC/DC.  And once again, the whole world shifted for me.