Teeth

BigSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:58:27 -0700

Well, then there's this fucking movie.

Here's the deal;
A cute teenage girl discovers her sexuality and that she's every man's
nightmare at the same time. Fucking havoc ensues.

I'm going
to be as elliptical as possible here because I thnk the film is better
served by keeping the details of the central conceit under wraps.
Suffice it to say, the sweet, cute , innocent little cunt here is bad
news. And fucking how.

This is a horror film, but it's one
of those satirical horror flicks. Turns out, Dawn, the lead in
the film, is a Promise Keeper. One of those kids who swear before
God that they'll save themselves for marriage, meanwhile they're taking
anal creampies and swallowing Rod Stewart volumes of jizz. And she
means the shit until, of fucking course, she runs into one of those emo
kids with a hard-on. Thus, the first feelings of wanting to go
from full of the Lord to full of this kid's cock. Watching Dawn's
arch in this film is a hoot, and Jess Weixler gives it
the perfect tone. Having met many of these so-called Promise
Keepers in my time (I was propositioned by one broad), I can assure you
that her work is dead-on, which makes it all the more hysterical.

Now,
the story is pretty slight here. In fact, if you look at the
structure, it's more or less a slasher film. That said, it's got
a quick clock at eighty-eight minutes and once it gets into the meat of
the thing it takes care of business in fairly rapid order, as any good
slasher film fucking should. The body count isn't very
high, but what we get is made to have a fucking impact.

By
way of suggestion, if you're interested in this movie and know nothing
about it, don't go to the internet for a trailer or plot
details. This is one of those films where the less you know about
it going in the better. Trust me.

Get it and love it.

Save Yourselves,

'Nuff Sugar

Promise Keepers

Teeth