Lake of Fire

BigSugar — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:48:38 +0000

And you thought a movie couldn't piss you off.

Here's the deal: director Tony Kaye, of American History X
infamy, spent fifteen years putting together a documentary about the
most hot-button issue of modern times. Abortion.
Controversy ensues, natch.

Before I get into this, it
should be noted that apparently, Tony Kaye is a large type fucking
asshole. He's pissed off just about every studio and, quite
possiby, everyone with a pulse in Hollywood. This film won't do
much to change that. He shot in black and white as a knod to the
perception both sides have on the subject of abortion, but the film is
entirely grey, or shades thereof. Get the point?

Niether
side is handed a pass here. The fundamentalist fuck-wads come off as
the hateful, racist idiots they are and the intellectual liberals come
off as cold-hearted pricks. Both sides get equal airtime and both
sides are depicted as scum sucking assholes who, quite franky, are
running the political system of this nation into the ground. Not
that it needs a whole lot of fucking help on that score. Be that
as it may, there is something for everyone here. A preist who
swears that one clinic performed an abortion, then threw the fetus on
to a grill for some afternoon barbecue, and Noam Chomsky verbally deconstructing an argument about
how shit sometimes has to die. There's some pretty sick
post-proceedure shit as well as the aftermath of one of the murders of
a clinic doctor. Yeah, you watch this one, you ain't gettin' out
clean.

Now this flick clocks in at over two-and-a-half hours and
you may be asking yourself why in the name of Loki's fucking ballsack
you'd want to sit through this fucking shit. The answer is this;
the last half hour. I'm not going to give it away to you, but I
can promise you, you will not go untouched by it. For all of the
vitriol from both sides of this thing, what it really boils down to is
simple; you make a choice, you live with consequences. In spite of the
assertions that the intellegencia of this film propose, there is indeed
a
simple answer. But you won't find it in the Bible or a biology
book. The answer, in no small portion, is in the last
thirty minutes of this movie. It is in my opinion anyway.

I
don't know if you'll be swayed by this film, and frankly, I don't give
a shit. If your beliefs can be altered by a movie, then you
didn't really have beliefs in the first place. That said, I don't
give a rat's fucking ass how jaded and cynical you are, the last images
of this flick will get into your head and stay there. How you
interpret them is up to you.

Save Yourselves,

'Nuff Sugar

Night Watch

BigSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:33:41 +0000

No, not the old Ewan McGregor/Josh Brolin movie. This one's actually really fucking good.

Here's
the deal; the forces of Light and Dark call a truce ending a centuries
long war, but the truce is in trouble when a kid is born who, it has
been foretold, will tip the balance of power in favor of whatever side
he chooses to join. Fuckin' weird, crazy-assed shit ensues.

Okay,
see if you can follow this; as part of the truce, two enforcement camps
are created to police illegal activities of the respective sides. Members of the Light
who watch the fuckups on the Dark side are called Night Watch (their
opposite numbers are called Day Watch, the title of the sequel to this
flick). The story follows one of the Night Watch as he goes in to
protect the boy who will shift the balance of power. Now,
apparently, neither side can influence the decision of the boy (it's
against The Rules), but certain Dark assholes are working overtime to do
just that. Add in a broad who's cursed as a motherfucker and you've
got this flick.

As you can tell, the story is complicated and
what's above is only the bullet points. It's a fuckton more
complex than what I've managed to boil it down to, so get ready for a
two or three sitting event here. With that out out of the way, let
me tell you this is one hell of a movie. That fucking Russkie
managed to put together a flick that goes straight against everything
you know about how boring and pain-in-the ass pretentious foreign films
often are. I'll put it to this way; even the fucking subtitles are cool as hell.

Add
to that a visual style that takes equal parts Tim Burton and Tony Scott
and slams them into each other at a fucking velocity that spot-welds
the two together and you've got a movie that shames pretty much every
tentpole summer flick that's come out in the last five years. I
don't know where they dug this cat Bekmambetov up from, but if the Iron
Curtain's got anymore like this one, Red Rover, Red Rover, send those
motherfuckers on over.

As a side note, I know many of you don't
know who in the purple Jesus fuck this Bekmambetov is, but don't
worry. In a couple of weeks when a little Angelina
Jolie/Morgan Freeman movie called Wanted comes out, you won't be able to escape this cocksucker.

Get it and Love it.

Save yourselves,

'Nuff Sugar