PVC-1

BigSugar — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:25:41 +0000

Ever gotten one of those blowjobs that are just so good your whole body goes numb, you can't move, don't even want to? Well, this movie's exactly like that.

Here's the deal; Columbian thug cocksuckers decide to extort 15 million pesos from an innocent family by strapping a bomb around the mother's neck. Real-time mayhem ensues.

I was skeptical about a movie that was one shot. When I heard that, I couldn't help but think about the toys they package in breakfast cereal. No cuts? What if a character has to go from one place to another? What if somebody gets something to drink, or has to piss? We have to follow them. I mean, you ever notice how Jack Bauer never takes a shit or grabs a sandwich? I didn't think anybody could pull this one off.

Wrong, motherfucker, wrong.

Starting off on the pouch that's carrying the bomb, through an argument in the Jeep the thugs are riding in, through killing a an annoying dog, the first twenty minutes of the film essentially staple your fucking eyelids to your forehead. Whatever doubts I had going in were gone right about the time the lead thug dragged his nephew out of the Jeep and put a gun to his head. That's how we get started. It goes straight to Hell from there.

In my review of On a Dark and Stormy Night, I talked about how Indies tend to violate the contract with the audience, or at least threaten to. This flick not only violates the contract, it damn-near dares you give a shit about what's going down on screen. And yet, you can't help it. Right about the time one of the thugs takes out a measuring tape, your ass will be in for the long haul.

Perhaps the most astounding thing about this movie is that, after about twenty minutes, you completely forget about the technical achievement of one long shot. Spiros Stathoulopoulos not only designed a beautiful film in total, but managed to extract performances from a group of largely untrained actors that will break your fucking heart. It's not until the credits roll that you realize how full-tilt fucking nuts it is that thing was pulled off in the first place. But by then, the story and the actors are going to have you in a fucking daze.

The only place I know you can get this flick right now is on IFC On-Demand, and if you can get it, you fucking should. This movie deserves a lot better than it's gotten, and that needs to change. So, get off your fucking asses. You will not be disappointed.

Get it and love it.

Save Yourselves,

'Nuff Sugar