script

How I spent New Year's Eve and Jan 1st

FableForge — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 13:51:35 +0000

Being an atheist with no friends or relatives within driving distance has its advantages: I didn't have to buy a single Christmas present for anyone, I didn't have to endure boring dinners over turkey with nobody, I didn't have to spend my time in any party when I'd rather be home with my kids, or playing videogames, or trolling the interwebz.

Which is in fact what I did, once again, just like during thanksgiving night (http://www.karmacritic.com/node/3796).

And once again my theme was zombies. Don't worry, I won't bore the living daylights out of you this time by copy pasting the entire thread, but the highlight is that in the first thread I set up the mood by gauging how many people actually secretly wish for the zombie apocalypse, and then in the second thread I managed to convince a lot of them I was a lowly security officer within a secret government military installation, and that I had witnessed first hand experiments designed to bring the dead back to life, and possibly to make them ravenous. Ah... they were even asking me to go public :) I loved every minute of it. Oh, and earlier in the day I had been working on a videogame design document called "Kanvas: Zombies"... a really cool project I have going on with Espektro.

Then the next day, according to chinese superstition, I modeled Jan 1st on what I wish the year 2009 to be (not because an atheist believes in superstition, as much as because I enjoy doing the things I did). I took the family to the pool and the restaurant -we had a great time; I played my fallout 3 videogame (with certain enhancements I created: http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=2007), and at night, I wrote a 15-page short for Captain Peceno, which I originally had in comic form (http://www.karmacritic.com/node/3789). We're both very excited about it, it's gonna be really... really cool. The name is "El Reino de las Sombras", or "The Realm of Shadows", and I know Captain Peceno is going to blow this out of the water! It might even be the start of a webisodic series; I'd LOVE that. We shall see!

I just wish everyone here a very successful new year; may all your hard work pay off, and may you earn your just reward in the form of success! 2009 shall kick all kinds of ass!

YO HO MATIES!

It's done. I finished the 2nd script of THE UNNATURALS

FableForge — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:29:05 +0000

I wasn't sure whether to post this or not, but in the end I figured I could take a moment in this site to declare another stage of the The Unnaturals project is done. The second version of THE UNNATURALS is done, and I just mailed it to the producer. He liked the first one well-enough, except for a particular plot element that unfortunately was at the core of mechanics. This new version has a different protagonist: now its PECENO, instead of JT, different mechanics too, and a simpler story, that is nevertheless action packed, and, well, if I may say so, very emotionally charged. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm tired, proud, happy, exhausted, hopeful, burned out, accomplished, deflated, excited, de-sensitized, etc etc.

I think I'll just take it easy till January 1st, and then, Captain Peceno, my writing services are all yours for one week, I'll write whatever you tell me to.

Oh, the picture is a quick schematic I did of the WitchHammer headquarters... its needed to better understand the ending of the story. I hope its clear enough, please tell me if anything seems confusing.

That's it... I'm back in the realm of the living, for now.

Happy holidays everyone, and may all of you meet all your new-year goals next year.

FableForge's Foundings #25: Stirb nicht vor mir

FableForge — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 12:19:45 +0000

That was a fun night saturday night. I was writing the third act for a script I have a lot of hopes for.

WARNING: THIS IS ABOUT TO GET SAPPY.

So, as I was writing, I just kept noticing..... signs, everywhere I looked, signs... of things that had to do with what I had just written. Silly things I wouldn't normally pay attention to, like... how a gust of wind outside the window would rush in just as I was typing about things floating in the wind and stuff (wish I could say more without spoilers). In fact, I noticed that Davonie posted he was done for the music video, just as I was done with the script, and my script has 96 pages, and Davonie's post was number 96 in the thread. You know, silly coincidences.

Well, this morning I discovered something that Blew My Mind.

While I was writing the very emotional (at least for me) third act (I even got teary eyed) last saturday night, I was inspired by, and playing this song over and over: "Stirb nicht vor mir" by Rammstein. Obviously, I don't know german, so I didn't know what it means. But it just sounded so beautiful. Maybe it was the moment. Well, two days later, now I know the song, translated, means "Don't die before I do". And shit, that's the whole third act in a sentence.

It kept on coming, I looked up the translated lyrics, and ... well, I'm blown away enough to make this post, let's put it that way. It all matches.

Anyway, here's the song. I started the Foundlings section with a Rammstein work, and here's another, a different one. Ladies and Gentlemen, enjoy STIRB NICHT VOR MIR:

The tone of the The Unnaturals was inspired in many ways by Rammstein, many songs, particularly "Reise, Reise" for the premise (bonus trivia: I learned long ago the lyrics also match the premise, well, a little bit), and that adrenaline shot called "Benzin" for the fights (or "Keine Lust" for that matter!), or "Links 1234" for the final battle. But the tragic love story will always belong to "Stirb nicht vor mir".

Anyway, while I'm on it, lets just dump'em all here:

The theme for the Unnaturals: Reise, Reise (someone spliced it with footage from the videogame Metal Gear: Sons of Liberty, goes to show you I'm not the only one inspired by this song to want to kick ass in an epic scale):

This is the theme for an action sequence, a fight. Or maybe I just like it a lot. P.S. the video has nothing to do with fights, but its a beauty to watch in its own (it helped inspire a character in the movie, John UnDoe). Only Rammstein has the brass balls to wear fat-suits for a music video. Oh, and this is the exception in that the lyrics don't match my screenplay:

The epic final battle between two literal armies in the third act, and another masterful video, you'll never see ants the same way:

OOH, I almost forgot Benzin! If you listen to this and don't feel instantly motivated to break shit up, get yourself checked by the doctor, cuz you have mud in your veins. Plus the music video is almost a commentary on Bush's foreign policy:

Alright, I'm done sharing my Rammstein favorites. For now.

UPDATE: I LIED!

I HAVE to share this song too, just because it ROCKS so much. I didn't even bother to find a video for it, just the plain bare-ass song, let it shake your bones baby!! I give you TIER!

YEAH!

FableForge Foundlings # 19: I got the script for THE DARK KNIGHT!

FableForge — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:22:40 +0000

Well, its not really the full script, just a few pages.

And... it's not the Nolan version, its the Michael Bay version.

And.. it's not really mine, I got it from spill.com: http://my.spill.com/profiles/blog/sh...

But hey! Let's not let small things get in the way of good clean fun! Certainly Michael Bay doesn't!

------------------------------

Apparently, Michael Bay wrote an unsolicited script for The Dark Knight
that was ultimately rejected by Warner Bros. Though this is the first
I’ve heard of it, I have the exclusive leaked images to back it up.

Here are some choice excerpts.

Cover page:

Page 1-3:

Page 28:

Page 71-72:

Page 112:

A part of me would really, really like to see this made.

A new project: BLACK FANTOM

FableForge — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:59:59 +0000

Hector gave me green light to brag about this, so brag I will!

After our first project together FURIA, which is doing really well (but I'll let Hector share those news, he deserves the right to brag about those), we got started on a second project, which will likely be financed the same way, but this is not animation, but Live Action.

Its a wrestlers movie :)

In Mexico, masked wrestlers are what cowboys represent in the US, or kung fu masters in Hong Kong. There's a whole genre of masked wrestlers being champions of the people, superheroes, always defeating some nefarious plot. The movies are CHEESY as hell, but people love them just like that. And Hector and I have decided to create a movie that pays homage to the whole genre, just like KILL BILL was Tarantino's ode to the Hong Kong martial arts flicks.

Our movie is called BLACK FANTOM VS THE DEVOURER OF WORLDS.

Actually, I'm just the humble writer, Hector, as with FURIA, is the real engine moving this project from the realm of dreams and ideas, into the realm of business deals and contracts and money and getting things made. But he and I enjoyed a long evening of brainstoming dreams and ideas back in Mexico, and we'd like to share some of the artwork inspired so far.

Without further Ado, a sneak peak at some of the concept art for BLACK FANTOM:

FableForge's Foundlings #5: The Democratic Convention, Dramatized

FableForge — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:43:19 +0000

This is a joy to read, people.

Lawrence O'Donnel, writer for the West Wing, was asked by the NY Magazine to write a treatment for how the democratic convention may go.

He turned in a work of art. Specially for me, .. cuz I'm a news junkie, and I get all of the inside jokes :) Plus, this is a master class at how to write an exciting treatment... lots of lessons for me, as a Writer!

So, ladies and gents, from http://nymag.com/news/politics/45786/

Delight, at

FROM THE BLACK, we hear noises, confusing sounds. Grunting?
Groaning? Sex? A massage? A workout? Weight lifting? fade in on: Skin.
Sweaty skin.

A buttock? Male, female? Muscular. Hair. More hair. Definitely male. REVEAL hard-core
gay sex scene between a flawless blond bodybuilder-hooker and a bald,
middle-aged 300-pound man. A cell phone rings. The fat man reaches for
it, hits a button to stop the ringing. Back to sex. A hotel phone
starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing. The fat man picks it up and
hangs up to stop the ringing. It rings again immediately. The fat man
tries the same trick. And it rings again immediately. Finally, the
phone wins. As the fat man talks on the phone, the hooker continues to
do his job.

Fat man: Yeah
… Harold, can I call you ba— … Uh-huh … I still haven’t deci— … This
really isn’t a good time for— … Please. I have to— … I just— … I need—
… (Desperate to get back to sex, gives up.) Okay … Yes, I’m saying yes … No, you can’t announce it yet … I’m giving you my word … I’ve got to hang up now … Okay. (Hangs up.)
Hooker (looking up from his work): Are you a superdelegate?

CUT TO:
Harold Ickes hanging up the phone in his hotel suite, the Clinton delegate-counting center.

Ickes: Hey, I just got the lieutenant governor of—
Howard Wolfson: Have you seen Gore? (Grabs a remote, flips on CNN’s live coverage of Al Gore arriving at Denver airport.)
Ickes (shocked): Holy shit!
Wolfson: He’s lost, what, 30 pounds?
Ickes (still can’t believe his eyes): He looks like …
Wolfson: A fucking candidate!

CUT TO:
Al Gore passes through a hotel lobby and is swarmed by fans and
delegates. The fat man from the sex scene fights his way close to Gore.
A Gore aide whispers the fat man’s name to Gore.

Fat man: Hey, Al, remember me? I’m the lieutenant govern—
Gore: Hey, Pete, great to see you. Are you committed?
Fat man: Well, actually, I just said yes to Hillary, but if you throw your hat in the—
Gore: Hey, I’m just here to help any way I can.
Fat man: You look just unbelievable.

CUT TO:
Brian Williams sets the table with his solemn intro to NBC’s
coverage: The pledged delegate score is Obama 1,688, Clinton 1,539;
Obama holds a slim popular-vote lead of 1.5 percent with 30 million
votes cast; 263 superdelegates remain uncommitted. Anything can happen.

Howard
Dean opens the convention and gets booed off the stage. The delegates
hold him responsible for the mess they’re in. Dean grabs Harry Reid and
Nancy Pelosi as he rushes out of the convention hall. Dean tells them
they’ve gotta figure out a way to stop the bleeding tonight. Dean,
Reid, and Pelosi get heckled by passing delegates as Obama Girl happily
signs autographs in the background.

Midnight. Dean’s suite. Party leadership meets. Where’s Gore? He said he’d be here. Someone points to a TV.

Gore (on CNN): No, Anderson, I’m not here as a candidate. I’m just trying to be helpful in any way I can.

The
leadership considers going to Hillary and telling her it’s time to drop
out. They all know there will be blood if they do that. Someone
suggests trying to get Barack to drop out.

Reid: Barack sure is a lot easier to talk to.
Pelosi: Are we really gonna ask him to drop out just because he’s easier to talk to?

They
screw up the courage to go to Hillary. They all agree they have to have
Gore onboard and they have to enlist at least one of Hillary’s most
committed superdelegates to join them.

Reid
tries to get Chuck Schumer to join the talk-to-Hillary delegation.
Impossible. She would see it as betrayal, pure and simple, and then
Schumer couldn’t possibly live with her in the Senate for the rest of
their careers.

High
noon. A series of black sedans pull up to the loading dock of a hotel.
Dean gets out of one and enters the building, then Reid gets out of
another, then Joe Biden, then Robert Byrd, Max Baucus, Steny Hoyer, Ed
Markey, Henry Waxman—all high-profile undecided superdelegates.

Clinton
suite. The party heavyweights are gathered. Bill Clinton, in golf
clothes, kills time with them—joshing, getting them coffee—while they
wait for Hillary. Bill notices Pelosi isn’t there and is assured she’s
on the way. Pelosi enters, with Charlie Rangel trailing. Bill acts
unsurprised.

Bill: Hey, Charlie, how ya doin’? I was wondering who they were gonna pick off from our team.
Rangel: Mr. President, this is very difficult for me. You know I—
Bill (dismissive): Sure, Charlie. (to group) Everyone here?
Dean: I think we’re waiting for one more.
Bill: Hope you don’t mean Gore?
Dean: Yeah.
Bill: Forget it. (beat) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hiding him somewhere, I just know Al a bit better than you do. I bet he’s on TV right now. (Grabs
the remote and starts flipping channels—CNN, no. Fox, no. MSNBC, no.
CNBC, no. ABC, bingo. There’s Gore yukking it up with Barbara and
Whoopi on The View, broadcasting live from Denver.) Look
at him, working Hillary’s demo. You actually think Al would help y’all
try to get the nomination for someone else? You have any idea how hard
it is to lose that kinda weight? He didn’t do that just to go on The View.
Dean & Co. share a worried look.
Bill: Al’s hoping this thing goes two or three ballots, then you guys call him in from the bull pen. (beat, icily.) And, ’course, Al ain’t got it in him to walk through that door and try to tell me what to do about anything.

Dean
asks if Hillary is on her way. Bill says no, change of schedule, she’s
out working superdelegates, she asked him to handle this one. Dean nods
to mild-mannered Reid, who starts in with the “for the good of the
party” pitch. Bill cuts him off.

Bill: Spare me the speeches. I guess you’re here because you already asked Barack to drop out and he turned you down? (Awkward silence.) Okay, go ask Barack.
Rangel: Look, Bill—
Bill: Fuck you, Charlie. You think you can put a knife in my wife’s back and come in here and talk to me nicely?

Rangel’s
78-year-old Harlem street instincts have him moving toward Bill with a
clenched fist. Biden jumps in to keep them apart.

Rangel:
If your wife is elected president, I’m still gonna be chairman of Ways
and Means and she’s gonna need me every fucking day. So how do you
wanna leave it: Fuck you, Charlie, or I’m sorry, Mr. Chairman?
Bill quickly apologizes, then turns to the group.
Bill: Hard being a superdelegate, huh? You
can’t come right out and announce you’re for Barack because you’re
afraid the rest of the undecideds won’t follow your lead. Then where
are you? No sense staying neutral this long if you don’t end up picking
the winner, right?

CUT TO:
Obama suite. Dean and the leadership are meeting with Barack and Michelle Obama.

Barack: But I have the lead in delegates, the lead in—
Reid: We know. We just think a unity ticket is the only way we can—
Michelle: Why should the guy in the lead take the VP slot?
Reid: We—
Barack: Because you already asked Hillary to take VP and she said no?

Dean: We haven’t exactly asked her that yet, but if we could tell her you’re ready to accept the vice-presidential nomination?…
Barack: No.
Reid: Barack, if this goes to a second ballot, all hell could break loose.
Barack: No.
Dean (pointing to Gore on Larry King): You know Gore’s gonna make a move if we get to a second ballot. You really think you can hang on to all your delegates then?
Barack shoots a worried look at Gore on TV.
Joe Biden: You ran a strong campaign, amazing
campaign, but it wasn’t strong enough to win you the nomination. I’m
sure most of your delegates love you, but conventions are about picking
winners. And if we get to a second ballot and all the delegates are
free to vote for whoever is looking like a winner (points to Gore), that guy’s gonna pick off delegates from both sides and you and Hillary might end up fighting for the VP slot on a Gore ticket.

Now
Michelle looks worried. Barack and Michelle have already talked about
this. They thought they had made a decision, but this is the real
decision point, and Michelle’s supportive nod to Barack says that it’s
all up to him.

Barack: Michelle and I need the room for a minute.

Everyone
scurries out of the room. The entire leadership of the Democratic Party
waits in the hotel hallway as the Obamas discuss the choice: Go for
broke or settle for VP. Settle? What first-term senator has ever had
the choice of settling for VP? What black American has ever had the
choice of settling for VP?

Michelle: I don’t have to be First Lady.
Barack: Tell me something I don’t know.
Michelle: Second Lady could be fun.
Barack (smiles): We get a big house, a big plane, plenty of time to help the kids with their homework.
Michelle (seriously): And another chance to run for president. (beat) Your call.
Barack: Flip a coin?

CUT TO:
Hotel hallway. Barack opens the door to the suite, looks at Dean
and the rest of the leadership anxiously waiting in the hallway.

Barack: Gore comes after my delegates, (beat) he’s gonna have to fight me for them.

Hillary’s
car is pulling away from the hotel. She spots Oregon senator Ron Wyden
getting into his car. She has her car chase Wyden’s car. At a traffic
light, she jumps out with a gang of Secret Service agents and they
surround Wyden’s car. She climbs into Wyden’s car and rides with him,
working on him to vote for her. When Wyden finally says he thinks only
Obama can beat McCain, Hillary is ready for that. She tells Wyden that
McCain’s winning the White House is the best thing that can happen for
Wyden’s reelection in 2010, because the president’s party always loses
seats in midterm elections. A Democratic president is going to make
Wyden’s reelection that much tougher.

CUT TO:
Ron Wyden press conference. Wyden announces his support for Hillary,
citing all the usual reasons—health care, experience, ready on day one …

Convention
floor. The roll-call vote of the states is under way. Most of the
undecided superdelegates decide not to decide until they can see which
way the wind’s blowing. A handful of pledged delegates switch sides at
the last minute, and each one immediately gets his fifteen minutes on
every network. With about 250 superdelegates staying on the sidelines,
the first ballot ends with no nominee and Barack ahead of Hillary by
137 delegates.

Gore tells Dean he wants to address the convention.

Dean: Sure, Al. No problem. Right after you tell Hillary and Barack what a great job VP is and persuade one of them to take it.

Barack
goes to the men’s room and finds an undecided superdelegate, Ohio
senator Sherrod Brown, at the urinal beside him. Barack knows he
doesn’t have much time to take advantage of this situation, so he gets
right to the point and offers Brown his seat on the Foreign Relations
Committee when he becomes president. Brown says he doesn’t want Foreign
Relations, he wants to go where the money is: Finance or
Appropriations. They both know even the president can’t help you get on
those committees. Brown zips up and leaves Barack with his dick in his
hand.

Michelle
runs into General Wesley Clark, who’s having trouble getting into the
convention hall because he forgot his credentials. She has her Secret
Service detail intervene to get him in. Clearly dazzled by Michelle,
Clark thanks her profusely, tells her he’s a big fan. Michelle jokes
that she didn’t think she had a lot of fans on the Clinton campaign.

Clark (almost apologetically): I’m from Arkansas, I owe Bill Clinton a lot. Hillary asked for my advice on military issues, so I?…
Michelle spots an uncommitted superdelegate, Rhode Island senator Jack Reed, and drops Clark to chase Reed.

On
the second ballot, there is surprisingly little delegate movement and
no winner. But Al Gore gets six votes, including one from the fat man,
who goes with his heart this time.

With
Dean still denying him the microphone, Gore does a march across the
convention floor that gets him mobbed by worshipful delegates shaking
his hand and getting their pictures taken with him.

Dean
rushes the convention to a third ballot before Gore can build up
momentum. Hillary and Barack go to the floor and desperately work the
delegates during the roll call of the states. As they beg for votes,
network camera crews are pushing through the crowds to get live
close-ups of Hillary and her surrogates (Bill, Clark, Dianne Feinstein)
and Barack and his surrogates (Michelle, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd)
in full suck-up mode with every delegate they talk to. No presidential
candidates have ever looked so desperate.

CLOSE
ON Senate Finance Committee chairman Max Baucus sitting quietly with
the Montana delegation, watching Hillary and Barack working the floor.
Baucus is disgusted by the circus the convention has become.

The
third ballot is a big setback for Gore, who loses half his voters and
ends up with three. The Gore surge is over. Delegates get friskier this
time. There are two votes for Eliot Spitzer, one for Jimmy Carter
(Carter actually has to swear to Bill O’Reilly that he did not vote for
himself), eleven for Barney Frank, and one for Keith Olbermann. The
Frank voters happily do network interviews explaining what a joy it is
to actually cast convention votes to nominate a gay man on the same
night that they already cast votes to nominate a woman and a black man.

Dean
finds Barack and tells him Hillary wants to meet with him one-on-one.
Barack’s campaign guru David Axelrod says no way, she wants to offer
you VP. Michelle agrees: Don’t do it. Barack turns down the meeting,
then tells Dean he wants a meeting with Hillary. Dean’s confused: So
what is it? You want the meeting or you don’t want the meeting?

Barack: I just turned down Hillary’s meeting. And now I’m inviting Hillary to my meeting.

Dean
tries to pretend that what he just heard isn’t crazy. He turns to
leave. Barack tells him to be sure to tell Hillary that he turned down
her meeting before inviting her to his meeting. Dean exits.

Axelrod: So you offer her the VP, then—
Michelle: She won’t take it.
Axelrod: I know. Then we leak that she turned it down and—
Michelle: I got a better idea.

CUT TO:
Dean tells Hillary that Barack wants the meeting (without
mentioning that Barack turned down her meeting and that this will be
his meeting). Bill is shocked that Axelrod is letting Barack do the
meeting.

Dean: Believe me, it wasn’t easy to persuade him to do it.
Bill: Something’s wrong with this picture.
Dean: I had to twist his arm. I—
Bill: You? Twist arms? Bullshit. (to Hillary) Barack
wants to offer you VP. Dueling press conferences afterward—who offered
who the VP slot. Forget it. It’d be a fiasco. The meeting’s off.
Dean: The meeting was your idea!
Hillary: Good-bye, Howard.
Dean exits.

Baucus
finds Dean huddling with the convention’s parliamentarian about when to
start the fourth ballot. Baucus tells Dean both candidates have to get
in a room alone and work this out. Dean explains what he’s just gone
through, says it’s hopeless. Baucus has a plan: Tell Hillary I want to
meet with her alone in this room in ten minutes to discuss endorsing
her before the next ballot. Tell Barack the same thing. Dean says
they’ll walk out as soon as they see each other. Baucus says: And leave
an undecided superdelegate undecided? I don’t think so.

Hillary’s
Secret Service bubble moves through the hallways of the convention
hall, with her inside it. Barack’s flying wedge of Secret Service
agents moves him off the convention floor toward the Baucus meeting.
The Sharks and the Jets arrive at the holding room at the same time.
Holy shit! Hillary and Barack both turn to leave, then Hillary turns
back, thinking she can now go in there alone and get the Baucus
endorsement. Then Barack turns back. They both turn away again and both
turn back again. There’s an uncommitted superdelegate on the other side
of that door. Neither candidate can let the other go in that room
alone. They both enter, Barack holding the door for Hillary.

Barack (deferentially): Mr. Chairman.
Baucus: Thanks for coming.
Hillary: Max, I thought—
Baucus: It’s time for you two to work this out.
Baucus starts to leave. Hillary follows Baucus toward the door,
then Barack follows Hillary. Baucus herds them back into the room.
Baucus: Listen up. Your health-care bill (shifts glance from one to the other) has
to come through my committee. So does your tax bill, the changes you
wanna make to NAFTA—I could go on and on. You walk out of here now, and
one of you somehow makes it to the White House, I guarantee you you’re
gonna have the worst first year ever. (Exits.)

Barack: Well, here we are … Hillary, I—
Hillary: You’re a better speaker than I am.
Barack (confused): Uh …
Hillary: Way better. Better than Bill. Best I’ve ever seen.
Barack: Uh, thank—

Hillary: When you go out there and accept the nomination, it’s gonna be the best speech of this convention, no question about it. (beat) Even if you’re accepting the nomination for vice-president. You’re gonna be the rock star on the ticket no matter what I do.
Barack: I don’t want to be VP.
Hillary: The way we’re going, you probably won’t have
to be. McCain’s ahead of both of us in the polls now. If we lose,
you’re the front-runner for the nomination to run against McCain four
years from now, and you know that would be an impossible race to lose.
Barack: If we win—
Hillary: You’re the front-runner for the nomination
eight years from now, when you’re what? Fifty-four? And you’ve got VP
experience to run on.
Barack: Lotta good that did Al Gore.
Hillary: Look, if you run at the top of the ticket and
lose to McCain, that’s it. End of story. You will never have another
chance. Ask John Kerry how easy it is to get the nomination again.
Barack: So, I’d be your VP and Bill would be what? Your executive vice-president?
Hillary: Don’t worry about Bill.
Barack: I’d worry about him a lot less if he was my VP’s husband.
Hillary: I don’t want to be VP.
Barack: Been there, done that?
Hillary: Kinda, yeah. And I learned a lot.
Barack smiles—here we go with the Hillary’s-experience bullshit.
Hillary: Talk to Al Gore about what he learned as VP.
Barack: I think he learned it’s a dead end.
Hillary: You don’t—
Barack: Hillary, I care about two things exactly as much as you do: the party and getting the nomination.
Hillary: You mean you don’t give a shit about the party and you’d kill to get the nomination?
Barack (smiles): You wearing a wire? (beat)
You know, all that ugly ink you’ve been getting all summer about
destroying the party, handing the election to McCain—there’s only one
person who can make that go away. Me. That brilliant acceptance speech
you’re expecting me to give can put you back where you belong—hero of
the Democratic Party—can put your husband back where he
belongs—respected statesman. Nothing else can.
Hillary: Winning can.
Barack: If you got the nomination, you’d lose to
McCain and the Clintons become the official destroyers of the
Democratic Party. End of story. Have fun in the Senate after that.
Hillary: C’mon, I can beat McCain. I can—
Barack: Hillary, your negative is at 49 percent. You
have the highest negative of anyone who’s ever run. You cannot possibly
win in November.

Hillary: The Republicans would drive up your negative if you got the nomination.
Barack: Sure they will. Five points? Push me up to 38
percent? What if they push your negative up two points? Fifty-one
percent? It’s hopeless, Hillary.
Hillary: Well, let’s see what happens on the next ballot.
Hillary turns to leave.
Barack: I don’t care how many ballots you want to put
us through. I don’t care if this convention takes two weeks. I came
here to win, and that’s what I’m going to do. Nothing will make me back
down. Nothing will make me take the number-two spot. Nothing. You’re up
against someone who is prepared to do as much damage as you are. (beat) And the press is gonna blame you for all of it.

Hillary
has never seen this kind of ruthlessness outside of her family. For the
first time ever, the thought flashes through her mind that this guy
could maybe turn out to be a good president, maybe he could stare down
the Putins of the world.

Barack:
When you walk out of here I’m going straight to a press conference and
announce that when I get the nomination, my choice for VP will be
Wesley Clark, and—
Hillary (laughs): Not gonna happen. Wes has been with my campaign from the start.
Barack (continuing): —and
on the next ballot, the possible Obama-Clark ticket’s gonna get me the
Arkansas delegation and another—what do you think—200 superdelegates at
least?
Hillary: I’m not gonna let you have Wes for a phony unity ticket.
Barack: Too late. Michelle is meeting with him right now.
Barack’s iPhone buzzes. He checks it.
Hillary: He won’t accept anything without my—
Barack holds up the iPhone. close on text message: CLARK DEAL DONE.
LUV U, M. Hillary looks pained—as much by the Clark deal as by the love
in the Obama marriage. Barack gives her a moment to process the shock,
then?…
Barack (softly): I want you to come with me to the press conference.
Hillary: No way.
Barack: I need—
Hillary (bitterly): You
don’t need me. You’ve got my biggest supporter as your VP. He’s got you
covered now on foreign-policy credentials, military experience.
Barack: It’s not a unity ticket unless you say it’s a
unity ticket. I want to tell the press that I asked you to be VP, you
turned it down and suggested General Clark. I want to give you credit
for saving the day, saving the party. I want you leaving Denver with
your head held high.
Hillary: I, uh, I …

Barack: Wes has already agreed to that story.
CLOSE on Hillary, thinking about it?…
Barack: I can win the nomination without you, but I can’t win the election without you. I need you, Hillary.

CUT TO:
Press conference. CLOSE ON Hillary smiling from ear to ear, as
camera motors whir, a thousand camera flashes pop. REVEAL she’s holding
her arms straight up in a Rocky-style victory pose. WIDEN to reveal her
left hand gripping Wes Clark’s hand, her right hand gripping Barack’s
hand. MOVE IN for a two-shot of Barack and Hillary as we PRE-LAP the
sound of the growing roar of 20,000 people.

Hillary (voice-over, shouting): I give you the next president of the United States, Barack Obama!

CUT TO:
Barack stepping up to the podium, hugging Hillary, and waving to
the adoring convention crowd. Hillary slips offstage, leaving Barack
alone to soak up the standing ovation.

Hillary
spots Bill in the crowd of superdelegates at the back of the podium.
Bill is hugging Charlie Rangel and holding the hug long enough to make
sure every news camera in the building gets the shot. Repair work on
the Clintons’ relationship with black America starts now.

Hillary goes to Bill. They hug, smile, and join in the standing ovation as if happy days really are here again.

Bill (whispers): Don’t worry. McCain’ll kick his ass.

FADE
TO BLACK, then roll credits over still shots of cheering, crying
delegates, including the fat man, and the sound of an endless standing
ovation.

Ghost Rider, - Hated it.

veenotph — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 15:02:11 +0000

Sure why not, I'll just publicly post my thoughts about a major motion picture, ranting and raving. This will endear me to Hollywood, and they will come running to hire me. Or I'll piss someone(s) off, and that is it for ever working in Hollywood. Of course, this might never get noticed, but then again, someone will google it, and it will come back to bite me in the ass later.

Ghost Rider. Looked forward to it, wanted to see it. I'm not the hugest fan of Nick Cage, yet I think he is a good actor, and can do some really nice work (I did enjoy National Treasure, he was excellent there.) So I'm pretty sure Nick will deliver.

Sadly I missed it in the theaters, but it arrived via netflix yesterday, and I get to watch it.

What the HELL. There is a great mythology already established with Ghost Rider. Very simple, but no. Let's change it. Why, no reason to. The change wasn't for the better, in fact, it lessened the impact of the characters. Made them less complex than in the comic book, wait is that possible?

Then the script, ughh, a nightmarish hodge podge of other movies. First of all, we spend so much time on the "set up", and while normally I think having the set up is a good thing, here it is just a waste of time, boring, and a snoozer. We don't really learn anything about the characters, and throughout the rest of the film the set up is repeated and explained over and over again anyway. The movie should start with him doing the big jump where he crashes, but doesn't die. There is so much introspection in this film anyway.

Then there is the Mentor - Oh wait, there is the devil (the trickster), and a mentor - So someone has been reading Joseph Campbell (or perhaps the cliff notes of Joseph Campbell's work.)

Lets see then the son of the devil, who is NOT a fallen angel (so he can walk on sacred ground) shows up walking in the desert (and does a "scary" face jump at the camera - why?) Goes to a bar, and kills a bunch of bikers to conjure up three fallen angels who take on the powers of one of the elements each. So it is to be a battle between the devil and the devil's son. Yawn, seen it, seen it done better. The devils confronts his son, but can't fight him, why? Don't know. Because the son (named Blackheart - of course, probably the reason the son hates the father "cause you named me Blackheart - I wanted to be named Jimmy, or James, or William, but no you named me Blackheart - Now I must defeat you." okay, not actually dialog from the movie, but it seems like it belongs, and anyway, hasn't anyone ever heard of changing their name?) And why can't they fight, because "Blackheart" says so. "You can't fight me here" or some other stupidity, I mean they are standing outside a biker bar, is there anyplace on earth more likely to have a fight?

Then the demonic creature who has all the power of the devil, but "none of his weaknesses" spends the rest of the movie walking all over Texas, searching for moved cemetaries, and a hidden demonic contract (which at one point almost smacks him in the head.) Yet can't find it. What is the point of all that evil power, and how are you going to take over the world if you can't find one little contract, and you have to walk around wearing what looks like a cross between a trench coat and a dress (Must have gotten it from the half price bin from Scorsese's "Frankenstein".)

So of course at this point, the devil, 15 years after collecting Johhny Blaze's soul (remember Johnny Blaze - this is his movie), and "watching over him" for 15 years so that he doesn't die, which explains his surviving horrendous motorcycle crashes. Finally the devil calls on Johnny and makes him his "bounty Hunter" - One rider per generation, so I wonder who has been catching the devils bounty lo these 15 years? Oh and what about the previous 150 years as we find out later from the mentor - who it turns out was the last ghost rider, and the first to defy the devil. Amazing isn't it, the devil gives away enough power so that whom he creates can defy the devil, and defeat the devils son. This devil guy, he doesn't sound so bright.

Anyway - The devils offers to free Johnny, if he will just kill Blackheart. Free Johnny from what? Being indestructible, he hasn't exactly been doing the devils bidding for the past 15 years.

Oh, I could go on, and on, and on. The script is a one from column A, one from column B script, stupid use of effects, constantly having the evil creatures have their evilness peek through their human countenance because it would be neat to see (which it isn't as it is overused and unmotivated.) And of course this is a hero's Journey movie so Johnny must struggle to learn how to control his power (all of 60 seconds devoted to that), and the mentor must pass on his knowlege and mission - it was stupid. As they get to the site where the battle will take place the mentor (think of the film SPAWN) and our Hero must change from powerful demonlike creatures to their human selves, why? Is it a battle to keep control of themselves and not become evil? No. It is so the mentor can change to human, and then have an excuse for not joining in the battle by saying, "I could only change that one last time." If that was the case, why didn't you stay in the incredibly superpowered mode, until after the battle. Why change just before? I mean the fate of the earth is to be decided here, and you choose to take a pass?

Oh and of course then there is the battle, "Blackheart" who is stronger than Johnny Blaze (Ghost rider), and imune to his most powerful weapon. He can be slowed down by shotgun blasts, even have his head blown off, and it only takes 10 seconds for his head to grow back. Of course Bullets have ZERO effect on the "the Ghost Rider", none, like don't even make him flinch, but that is okay Blackheart is by far more powerful, so it makes sense that he is affected by shoutgun blasts. And then Blackheart gets his hands on the contract, and becomes suprememly powerful (becareful what you wish for), and now, at this point, he becomes succeptible to Ghost Riders most dangerous weapon. Ghost Rider Wins, hooray, oh wait no it is Johnny blaze, who is only partially Ghost rider, I see, wait no I don't. Where is the inner struggle? Oh that is right, there isn't one.

Ack there is more of course, but really, Great effects, and that is it. Direction for gags, bad script, bad storytelling. Sucky and disappointing movie.

Official Invitation for our Next KarmaCritic Contest

FableForge — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 01:03:30 +0000

Alright good people, here's the deal!

Our next contest begins tomorrow!

Our contest in plainspeak and quickiexplained: phase 1 is about "who can write the best script in a given genre and theme" while phase 2 is about "who can actually shoot the best film based on that winning script from phase 1". Everyone votes everywhere. At the end we put all films and scripts together (as well as behind-the-scenes footage, interviews and other extras) inside a well-made DVD, and we try to sell it. Profits will be split amongst everyone, larger shares to the winners.

Now the details:

PHASE 1

Phase 1 of the show is a writing contest. All KarmaCritters are welcome, and its free to become a KarmaCritter. You may submit as many scripts as you want, provided they meet the following criteria:

Genre must be HORROR-COMEDY (gotta be scary, gotta be funny)
Theme must be "Practice Makes Perfect".
Lenght must be 7 to 13 pages (not counting cover).
Finished script must be submitted to KC before Christmas day 2007.

Points number 1 and 2 are at my discretion, points 3 and 4 are pretty objective.

Now, the following is not mandatory, but just friendly advice: keep in mind you're writing potentially for a short film with a 250 dollar production budget cap. Let this knowledge help you drive your choices regarding setting, number of actors, FXs, etc.

The winning script is announced on Christmas day, and becomes the cornerstone of phase 2.
All 10 finalists must record 3-minute interviews (Questionarie will be provided, background is green-screen).

PHASE 2

Once again, everyone is welcome to submit an entry. The requirements:

Must be based on the script that wins phase 1.
Must be produced with no more than 250 dollars (not including film equipment; keep your receipts!)
Must be between 7 and 13 minutes long.
Finished film must be submitted to KC before March 1st 2008
Must include 7 to 13 minutes of Behind-The-Scenes footage

Once again, points 1 and 2 are subjective to my discretion (I reserve the right to request copies of your receipts if a dispute ensues), while 3, 4 and 5 are pretty objective.

The winning film is announced on March 1st!
All 10 finalists must record 3-minute interviews too (see phase 1).

NOTES ON BOTH PHASES

To submit, simply upload your PDF script as usual, but write in the description that this is an entry for the contest, I'll take care of the rest.
As with SUBLIM, as soon as an entry is submitted it becomes eligible for votes; so the early birds do have an advantage (Ex. a script submitted on the bleeding edge of the deadline on Dec 24 technically is eligible, but will it have enough time to gather votes and become a finalist?)
The finalists are the top 10 entries with the most votes AND an average score of 70 or better. Each phase has its own 10 finalists.
All finalists will be featured in the DVD and share in profits from it (more details below).
Copyright over their own work always remains the property of the contestant who submits it, but KC will have the right to compile and sell this work in a DVD, for which you'll receive a percentage of the profits. Portions of your work may also be used in promotional materials.

DISTRIBUTION AND PROFIT SHARING

We dont yet know who will replicate the DVDs and at what cost, but we know how the unitary price breaks down:
Unitary Price = Replication Cost + Distribution Cost + Profit. In other words, when we sell a DVD, first we substract what it costed to copy the DVD, then what it costed to distribute it, and the rest is our Profit. Said Profit is split as follows:
- 10% to Eric Bumpus for Production work (which includes dealing with replicator, distributor, creating DVD menus, editing, titling of interviews, subtitles, etc).
- 10% to the winner of Phase 1.
- 40% to the winner of Phase 2.
- 1% to each of the 9 non-winning finalists of Phase 1
- 3% to each of the 9 non-winning finalists of Phase 2
- 4% for publicity and promotion of future contests
Profit shares will be sent by Eric in the frequency that makes the most sense. This will be determined once replication and distribution details are known. Most likely we'll use PayPal.

TITLE AND IMAGERY

Working on both as we speak!! Go vote!

Any questions? Please ask away, lets hammer out anything that's pending with the info that is known!

Tomorrow monday.... We Begin Writing!! Remember: Horror-Comedy with the theme "Practice Makes Perfect"! Best of luck everyone! Stay tuned for a contest page SUBLIM style tomorrow!

So... you made it to the third round in SUBLIM

FableForge — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 13:37:41 +0000

First off, major congratulations. What you've reached is nothing to scoff at. Bixby was actually -impressed- with your work. You have any idea how hard is to impress someone who's been at this for as many years as he has, and has read as many scripts as he has? He traffics in screenplays from people who do that for a living, day in and day out. But you impressed him. I'm not completely surprised though, I know KarmaCritters have way-above-average heads on their shoulders; I'm just extremely glad to see that -proven- in the real world out there. You deserve a glass of the good wine you've been saving for a moment like this. But just one glass. Save the rest of the bottle for the end of the contest, and also, you need to be sober for what comes next.

What comes next?

Just like with round 2, technically speaking the final judges Jon Brown and Tova Laiter could come and read your entry today; you were supposed to have it ready. But just like with round 2, we're going to actually wait a little bit, and give you time to finish a good screenplay. The final results were promised on Jan 1 of 2008, and I wish to give at least three weeks to the judges to go over the five scripts. That leaves you with about a month to turn up the finest writing work of your life so far.

I don't want to overstate this, but let me impress in you the sheer magnitude of volume: thanks to this contest, you have now the opportunity to cut through oceans of red-tape and studio readers, above hordes of writers, (some of them with agents!) who are trying to get their stuff read, and reach directly at the people who matter and make decisions in this business. Its a huge one-time skip-straight-to-the-finish-line card. We will prepare a disclaimer form for you to sign so they can legally read your script, but once that step is taken care of, you have one shot directly at the top. Make us proud people. This is my advice... the steps in regular text are -required-, you need to take care of them as soon as possible. The steps in italics..... I wish they were required, but they're just optional, just advice from a well-meaning friend :)

Register your script with the Library of Congress. I would suggest WGA, but considering the strike, LoC may be wiser at the moment. I know there is discussion about whether this is really necessary or not, I just want you to be aware of the options.
Read "STORY" by Rober McKee. This is the single best advice anyone ever gave me in my life regarding screenwriting. That someone said something to me like "it'll take you about 3 days to go through this book, and when you're done you'll be 10 times the writer you're now". I know its hard to take someone's sayso as holy writ, but... gosh, I dont know how to say this, .. I REALLY believe this is the single best thing you can do. I swear by this book.
Write the full screenplay, according to STORY's guidance if possible. Then, coldly, like a serial killer, axe the worst scenes even if you love them, and write them again. Then do that two or three more times. Have it done by the first week of December.
Then let us know you're ready, update your entry with the full thing, sign the soon-to-be-provided disclaimer, and pray to whatever deities you believe in.

At this point, you're technically all winners. Five scripts will go to Jon Brown and Tova Laiter, and at that moment SUBLIM will have succeeded in what it set out to do. What happens next is between you and them, if at all. We don't guarantee they will like your script. In fact, we don't guarantee they will read all of it if they give up on it on page 10. But you had your shot. That's what we set out to do, we wanted five scripts to have their shot, and they will. Like Obi-Wan's semi-transparent spirit, we're with you, and you'll hear our collective voice whispering "Use the Force, Luke" when the time comes :)

By Jan 1st, Tova and Jon will let us know who is 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. Not that there is any prize, other than the honor of it. If any of the judges feels like doing business with you, that will be between you guys; KC did its part and will be out of it. Also, just for fun, the last week of this year we'll hold a poll here for which script does the community thinks its best. Think of it as "The People's Choice" award, minus any prize :)

Finally, I want to thank Ezequiel, because without his help this simply would not have happened. He truly made this possible.

And I want to thank Emerson.... despite how busy you must be with the release of MAN FROM EARTH, you gave us a lot of your time, sir, a lot of thoughts, experience, advice.... we owe you a big big favor.

The Five Finalists Are:

RED, by BigSugar
BIKINI VAMPIRES SAVE THE WORLD, by DMayMay
THOUGHT IT'D BE YOU, by EvilDirector
TAKING THE CROSS, by EvilDirector
RED SUN RISING, by EdWoodsJr

Best of luck everyone, may the best script win!

Slate's Script for the Writer's Strike

FableForge — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 14:57:09 +0000

Everybody knows the talks between writers and producers didnt go well, and tonight Jay Leno and Letterman are going to go dark, a sign of things to come. Slate.com, which I love, created this amazing outline of the TV series about the writer's strike. Original at:

http://www.slate.com/id/2177386/

Enjoy!:

---------------------------------------

Picket Lines
TV writers script their upcoming strike.
By Justin Peters
Updated Friday, Nov. 2, 2007, at 4:35 PM ET

It's the night before the Writers Guild of America is to begin its long-awaited strike, and a collection of Hollywood's most experienced TV writers have commandeered a back table at Father's Office to hammer out scenarios for what will surely be the most important gig of their careers: plotting a compelling, believable strike that will play well in middle America.

Season 1
Episode 1: Establish the premise. Comedy writer Marty Brownstein has a Harvard degree, a simmering love affair with a cute young grip, and a slovenly roommate who calls himself "The Cheese." But his world is torn asunder when he's forced to take to the picket lines and fight for the thing he holds most dear: DVD residuals. Also establish the villainous conspiracy ("The Industry"), the writing partner ("Max"), and the wacky neighbor (Bollywood).

Episode 3: Marty and his writer buddies have to make 100 protest signs in an hour or else their picket line will be a disaster. Too bad The Cheese huffed all the ink from the permanent markers!

Episode 8: We introduce a new character: a writer from the wrong side of the tracks who has some unorthodox ideas about how to get things done in Hollywood.

Episode 9: The writer turns out to be an alien.

Episode 14: Sweeps-time for a guest star! Jimmy Hoffa Jr. comes to town to show Marty and his buddies how a professional leads a strike. Ends with Hoffa winning a jitterbug marathon at Al's Diner.

Season 2
Episode 8: The picket line is spiced up by an extended lesbian kiss. Meanwhile, Marty gets nervous when he overhears his writing partner talking about "becoming a scab," but it turns out he was only talking about his Halloween costume.

Episode 10: The picket line's flagging morale is boosted by a visit from Santa Claus, who distributes presents: a biography of George Meany for Marty, a remote-controlled car for The Cheese, and pseudonymous jobs writing Spanish soap operas for everyone. Feliz Navidad!

Episode 20: The Cheese puts itching powder in Marty's bed the day before he's scheduled to meet with an Industry official (Powers Boothe) to discuss contract terms. Talks fall apart when Marty uses the official's Mont Blanc as an impromptu back-scratcher.

Episode 21: Powers Boothe turns out to be an alien.

Season 3
Episode 3: Jimmy Hoffa Jr. returns-can he help negotiate a contract and defend his jitterbug title at the same time? He can ... with the help of The Cheese's humanoid robot.

Episode 9: Marty's agent isn't calling, his checks aren't coming in, his mortgage payments are ballooning, and his girlfriend left him to take a job with Joe Francis. But in this very special episode exploring the evils of drink, Marty learns that's no reason for him to spend every night drowning his sorrows in off-brand amaretto.

Episode 14: The Industry sends some strikebreakers to infiltrate the union meetings. Although they're discovered by Marty and his friends, the strikebreakers get their revenge by pitching a reality show based on their exploits (Headbustin') to FOX, which buys 13 episodes for the Thursday night prime-time slot.

Episode 24: In a secret midnight meeting atop the Hollywood sign, Marty and an Industry official are about to come to contract terms but are stopped when a mysterious stranger, shouting, "This is evil," runs and jumps off the sign. Season-ending freeze frame on the body in midair.

Season 4
Episode 1: When the body lands, it turns out to be guest star Evel Knievel, come to lend his support to the writers' efforts. Unfortunately, he lands on Marty's car and ends up in the hospital. Although contract negotiations fall apart in the ensuing confusion, Evel pays Marty 50 bucks to come up with names for his motorcycles.

Episode 9: Musical episode! Marty and friends sing and dance their way through sassed-up versions of labor classics like "Joe Hill," "9 to 5," and "Take This Job and Shove It." They try to take their act on the road to American Idol, but are dubbed "talentless and unnecessary" by a bleary-eyed Paula Abdul.

Episode 14: The Cheese gets married in Vegas ... to a woman he suspects of being an alien. She turns out to be Sandra Bernhard, and she ends up running off with The Cheese's robot.

Episode 24: Series finale! Marty wakes up and discovers it was all just a dream: His girlfriend (Suzanne Pleshette) still loves him, his agent didn't drop him, and he's still got his job on the staff of Cavemen. Then Cavemen gets canceled, and Marty spends the next three years fruitlessly pursuing freelance jobs before deciding to go to NYU for grad school. His first day on campus, the grad student union decides to strike. End with a freeze frame of Marty shrugging comically.

Movie Version
Marty, The Cheese, and a talking whale search for the lost city of Atlantis. In the end, they find that Atlantis was in their hearts all along. With Ian McKellen as Poseidon, lord of the sea.